The post-Valentine’s day love in the air has a tendency to linger, and can leave you feeling lonely, or maybe the chilling weather has made you yearn for someone to hold, or perhaps you think it’s about time you move on after a breakup. Whatever single state you’re in, now is as good as time as any to start dating. Especially with the multitude of dating apps at your fingertips.
Dating doesn’t always go the way we plan, there could be an abundance of awkward silences, we could end up drinking too much and make fools of ourselves, or our lack of experience could lead us to babbling on about inappropriate subjects. And although terrible dates are often a learning curve or make good anecdotes, after you’ve had a few, it’s best to know that you did everything you could to ensure your side of the date went as well as it could.
A lot of first date advice is very similar to that given for job interviews in regards to body language and confidence. How you present yourself is how you will be perceived, so it’s important to act like you care. If you’re talking about yourself, make sure to make eye contact, and perhaps use hand gestures to emphasise what you deem to be interesting. Forget everything you’ve learnt from teen movies: don’t try to play it cool by acting apathetic. If you don’t even seem interested in your own life, then you’ll lose their attention. Good posture and proper enunciation also show that you care, and can make a world of difference in regards to first impressions.
But of course there is such a thing as trying too hard. First impressions are good but you’ve got the whole date; a couple hours at least (assuming you’re not at a speed dating event), for them to get to know the real you. Unless of course they cut the date short after 10 minutes, and in that case who cares if you impressed them or not? You want to be relaxed, although many interview techniques will come in handy on first dates, feeling comfortable comes first, whether that means having a couple glasses of wine beforehand, or picking a comfortable pair of flats over heels. Just make sure not to drink too much beforehand. Pre-date butterflies can leave you craving a little Dutch courage, and there’s nothing wrong with that to settle your nerves provided it is a little Dutch courage.
As with your CV, it’s probably a good idea to avoid lying on dates. It may be fun to play different characters with interesting backstories when you’ve been in the dating pool a while, but if you want it to go further than a first date it’s best to stick to topic you know most about: you. Feel free to embellish the truth a bit, and use the odd hyperbole to make things a little more exciting. But making up intricate backstories can get you into trouble. The more elaborate the lie, the harder it is to keep track of, and if the dating materialises to something more they may want more details, and then you get caught in a web of lies. Basically, avoid forming a potential relationship on a foundation of lies.
If you don’t get a second date that’s not to say you’ve committed a dating faux pas, some of us just don’t have chemistry. And some people obviously just don’t see greatness when it’s right in front of them.