As we go through the stages of life, we are lucky if we find a handful of really good friends, with whom we can fully connect. That said, many of us will at some point, encounter a friendship whereby we feel slightly stifled, or under pressure from an obsessive friend. Before throwing the towel in on a good friendship turned OTT, it may be worth considering the reasons behind her extreme clinginess.
Perhaps there is an underlying reason for her obsessive behaviour. For instance, your friend may have recently experienced a traumatic event such as splitting up with her fella, moving house, or losing her job. In these cases clinginess ought to be met with necessary support, as a good friend will inevitably return the favour to help you in times of crisis.
If, however, nothing is changed, and there is no apparent reason for leaving 10 voicemails in one day, you may need to accept this is part of BFF’s personality.. An unfortunate situation, but nevertheless it is one that can be dealt with effectively. Follow these tips on how to deal with an obsessive friend.
1. Help her into new situationsPerhaps your pal is not as confident as you. Take her to new places, so that she can meet people. This way her confidence will grow as well as her friend list, as she will rely less on your friendship.
2. Arrange a catch up in public placesThis way, you will both have a limited amount of time, rather than being stuck in your house for hours on end. Additionally, you will both have to drive your own cars home.
3.Don’t pick up the phoneI don’t mean this in a vindictive way. When your friend calls, don’t consistently answer. Instead allow her to leave voicemails and occasionally take your time to respond. Doing this will send a gentle message to your mate that you are busy, or need that bit of space.
4.Let her down gentlyMix up your time with other friends, and kindly explain you have other plans. Using these methods will gently convey your position without hurting your friend’s feelings.